Harry Discovers His Fangirls
by TheSpiritOfHogwarts
Summary: Harry Potter thought he had seen the scariest things possible back when he was facing Voldemort. Turns out, he was wrong! Three years after Voldemort's demise Harry discovers that he has fangirls.


Authors Note: TheSpiritOfHogwarts is back! Mwahahahaha!!!!! I shall haunt you! Okay so this is just a little short funniness that popped into my head. Please r&r!

Disclaimer: ONCE AND FOR ALL I AM NOT J.K.ROWLING!!!!!!!!!!! If I was I would be fabulously wealthy... but I'm not :( Thus, common sense implies that I am just an average person who spens too much time on the computer. Blonde hair isn't a good look for me anyway :)

* * *

Harry Potter walked slowly down the street, wearily placing one foot in front of the other in a discouraged monotony, keeping his mind fully focused on the rhythm of his steps so that he would steer clear of thoughts of the unbelievable amount of work that he still had left to do. As he paced slowly down the crowded street that was Diagon Alley he leisurely let his thoughts float around in his head. It was quite soothing really, listening to the pattern of his footsteps. The steady rhythm kept him from thinking about the gargantuan pile of paperwork that awaited him back at the office… the endless victims still to be interviewed…

"Aaaargh! No! Bad Harry! Stop thinking about work!" He muttered to himself, gently smacking himself on the forehead.

"Talking to yourself again, Potter?" A familiar voice asked.

Looking up Harry saw a gangly red-head grinning at him. "Ron! What are you doing here?"

"Same thing as you, probably: trying to find an anniversary gift for you and Ginny. Although, I suppose your gift is just for Ginny. It'd be rather odd to get yourself a present, wouldn't it? Actually, it might not be such a bad idea; then you'd always get what you wanted and,"

"Ron," Harry interrupted with an amused grin "You're babbling".

"Right, sorry," Ron apologized sheepishly "Well, as long as you're here you can help me pick out a present. Just pretend to be surprised when you open it".

"Okay, but you have to help me figure out what to get for Ginny".

* * *

Deciding that it would be infinitely more difficult to find a gift for Ginny than a gift for both of them, they headed off to a jewelry store first. Ron browsed through the earrings while Harry went off to look at necklaces. As he was examining a particularly opulent one and trying to figure out how anyone could wear it around their neck without being dragged down by the weight of it he was distracted by two loud squeals from behind him. Turning, he saw two girls who looked to be about sixteen clutching each others' elbows and bouncing up and down. Upon realizing that he had noticed them they offered a pair of extremely shy waves before rushing out of the shop, squealing all the while. A very bewildered Harry returned his attention to the jewelry counter, this time to ponder why any woman would want to wear a solid gold dog collar around her neck. Crouching down, he began to inch his way along the jewelry counter, examining each item from all possible angles. As he was eyeing a particularly complex necklace he thought that he saw a group of people watching him through the glass. Assuring himself that he was merely hallucinating he hopped over to scrutinize the next piece. However, once again he saw a group of people goggling at him through the glass. Cautiously, as though they might attack him at any given moment, he raised himself up just high enough to peer over the counter. As his nose leveled with the edge of the counter he spotted a large group of teenage girls who staring at him unashamedly. Realizing that he had spotted them, they began to wave, perfectly synchronized and all the while maintaining their creepy, unwavering stares. Lowering himself back to the ground, Harry decided that Ginny had too many necklaces already and crawled away to look at bracelets.

* * *

At the bracelet counter he had almost lulled himself back into a feeling of security when a loud shriek came form directly behind him, nearly shattering his eardrums.

"OHMIGOSHITSHARRYPOTTERILOVEYOUSOMUCHYOU'REAMAZING!" A plump girl dressed entirely in red and gold squealed at the top of her lungs. Giving him a bone crushing hug, she shrieked again, this time actually managing to shatter the glass in the display cabinet, before running off gleefully, still babbling incoherently in the same shrill squeal of a voice. Now very much fearing for his personal safety, the man who had defeated Lord Voldemort ran off to find something to hide behind.

Ron Weasley was enjoying a pleasant, and rare, moment of peace as he browsed through earrings when he was grabbed roughly by his best friend who then dived behind him and proceeded to hold the very confused red-head in front of him as a human shield.

"Harry! What the?! Will you let go of me!"

"Ron, help! I'm being stalked by squealing girls!"

"Harry, what are you talking about?"

"Every time a turn around there's a squealing girl! And one of them hugged me and I think she broke my rib cage!"

Laughing, Ron removed himself from his post as human shield and calmly explained to Harry, "What you have just experienced are fangirls. The shrieking and the squealing are because you're the Boy Who Lived and because of this those girls have developed creepy, stalker-like crushes on you".

"How do I make it stop?" Harry moaned, attempting to shield his face with his hands.

"You can't," His best friend replied cheerfully "But don't worry, it'll probably fade out when you're in your fifties, hairless and have a beer belly".

"But, but, but, b-b-b-but they're scary!" The supposedly fearless hero whimpered.

"Here!" A still almost cruelly amused Ron said, conjuring a paper bag with eye holes "Wear this" and with that he shoved the bag over his whimpering friend's head and steered him out of the store.

"But I look ridiculous!"

"Exactly!" Ron said, seeming to get an unwarranted amount of pleasure from Harry's distress "People will question your sanity, but they won't think you're Harry Potter!"

"Oh, well thanks, Ron. That makes me feel _so_ much better!" The very annoyed hero snapped sarcastically. And, thus, Harry Potter left Diagon Alley present less, disgruntled, and feeling very reluctant to ever come out in public again.

Sooooooooooooo... Was it good? What you loved it? Oh I knew you would! recieves hard smack on the head What I was kidding!...mostly.

Anyway, review if yah loved it, review if yah hated it, review if you're lonely, bored and need something to do... COME ON REVIEW ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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